Just Checking In

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to bring you up to date.. After bloodshed and tears, I finally finished my research project, my seminar class and most importantly my time at Hunter. I struggle with the idea of maintaining this blog because it seems at times a bit "too much" for my everyday... but today I decided to check in and update you all on my new MSW status... My hope is that others will share their thoughts, experiences, and insights to get this going... before I decide to shut it down...   please feel free to comment!

Back to the Drawing Board... HELP!!!!!

     Over the past week, I worked on the "research" component of my term paper. I read books, articles, any thing Puerto Rican-ish that I could get my hands on. "Me queme las pesta~as" (I burned my eyelashes) on the computer trying to put together the story of the island's history while trying to incorporate family history and personal experiences... I hit several roadblocks and even had a breakdown at one point. This was after I decided to subscribe to ancestry.com and research some family history. I can't say that I really like the setup on that site. You do most of your own filtering through millions of records. So the process can be tedious and quite annoying especially when you are close to your breaking point.
     Nevertheless, I found some documents that hit home for me. I learned that my cousin Ariel's father who was Choro's eldest brother (they were 10 years apart...but somehow looked almost identical) was the only one in his household at age 7 that could read and write. I thought that was very interesting considering that his parents were unable to read or write. The 1910 U.S. Census had recorded that the family owned several acres of coffee fields. I remember my grandfather talking about how he worked in the fields with his father making only a few cents a day. Researching some more, I found that during that time in history early 1920's, Agricultural workers made a few cents more than what it cost to raise a HOG in the US... Imagine that.
     Anyway, after breaking my head in trying to decide where to go with all of this information, I sought the feedback of my professor. He suggested I revise my paper and take another approach. My paper focused on the struggles, oppression, and the vicitimization of Puerto Ricans and the effects this had on early migration. To be honest, it wasn't what my spirit wanted to produce. Instead it was more like a blah, blah, blah, story that we all know and heard... the violation of the tainos, the lust and greed of the conquerors, the imposition of colonialism, United States takeover, and the countless other injustices on the island's people. My professor challenged me to take this project to a more personal level and  make it more about my own family history. He proposed I be led by my spirit.... Although most of my other work  now seems in vain, I welcome his idea. I realize that in order to tackle this from a personal perspective, I must dissect my very consciousness, and be willing to break the silence, talk about cultural taboos, and other social mores in order to rewrite my history from this new perspective. That is from the perspective of a survivor. So now it begins again... back to the drawing board. In order to get the wheels turning I'd like to enlist your help...Please respond on how you view Puerto Rico's history? How do you propose that the people's/ island's resiliancy and strength be highlighted? Waiting to hear back from you!

Steamship Pics and Docs

http://www.puertoricansteamshipmigration.org/

El Puerto Rico de la década del 1940

A little more about Me

My name is Michelle Carmen Garcia-Ayala. I was born in the early 70's to Puerto Rican descendants Naomi Ayala (Mima) and Manuel Antonio Garcia (Johnny). We lived close by my grandparents Miguelina Jimenez and Confesor Ayala. My father passed away when I was 10, and I was one of four children to be raised by a single parent. Although my grandmother Miguelina (Mickey) also passed away when I was just a young girl, I have vivid recollections of her being one of my early caregivers. I remember her constant nurturing, and her amazing cooking abilities. Throughout the years I have held on to a special and strong connection to her memory. It also helped that random  people would come by our house long after her passing to talk about what a "saint" she was and how she often opened her home to newcomers from the island. I was always proud of my grandmother. Consequently, I was fortunate enough to have been raised close by my grandfather the late Don Confesor Ayala (Choro). He remained with us until just last year when he passed away at age 96. It is his spirit, his energy, and his zeal for life that motivates and inspires me to work on this project and pour my heart and soul into it. He was my personal Ghandi! I learned a lot about the struggles of the early Puerto Rican migrant also known as "pioneros" through my grandfather's stories of sacrifice and triumph.

Unfortunately, I don't know much about the early migrants of the Garcia side of my family, as I didn't have the privilege of meeting my grandfather Herminio Garcia, but I do know that some awesome photos have turned up and I have already started posting them. Hopefully, new information will emerge. My uncles have helped me piece together some stories about my paternal grandmother Carmen Alejandro (Minita) and her direct ties to the Tainos and the island of Vieques. Minita also passed away during my youth, but I remember her mostly for the adoration she expressed towards her sons, her sweet and passive demeanor and her phenomenal sewing abilities.

Although I was born in Brooklyn, I have been raised in both New York and Puerto Rico... At the age of 13 during the early eighties when hip hop was born, crack was discovered and AIDS was becoming epidemic, my mother decided it was time to venture off to her parent's homeland, Puerto Rico...she would move my siblings and me to the small town of Aguadilla, and so it began...CULTURE SHOCK! There began my search for self discovery and cultural identity...there began the confusion that has taken decades to unravel and decipher. Here begins my journey to explore and explain it.

The Process

Greetings :)

I have to admit that this is a very challenging task for me, because it requires deep reflection and contemplation. I have so much to say... yet, I know in silence many of you feel me. It's a work in the beginning stages. Along with this blog, I have a written paper and a visual presentation to submit for school in the upcoming weeks. Honestly, the pressure I feel is not just due to the academic piece, but I also feel a responsibility to those of you reading and following this blog. Every now and then I check myself and say, its not about me... its about us! I encourage and welcome your comments, ideas, and feedback. We need to learn from one another and experience is our best teacher!

I found some very interesting things surfing the internet today, and I found that in fact, there is alot written about this topic... but still no where near enough! I wish there was a way I could put this awareness on blast!!! But this blog will have to do for now.

I really hope that you are able to comment and share what you know to be the truth about our cultural identity. Don't be put off by the sometimes complicated technological issues...keep trying! Many times today, I have had to fight the urge to give up but all I could think of was the complacency of the coqui and the docility of the taino... NO MORE! I say we take on some other ancesteral traits like the spirit of the adventurer, the fighter, and the survivor. We talk about how we are a mixed people, so people let's mix it up!

By telling our stories and purging our pasts we can begin to shape a new identity, one that reflects the truth about who we are, and where we belong on the map. Looking forward to embarking on this exploration with you!

My Paternal Great-Grandparents from Vieques- Daniel and Eusebia Alejandro

nuyorican

nuyorican
por Tato Laviera
yo peleo por ti, puerto rico, ¿sabes?
yo me defiendo por tu nombre, ¿sabes?
entro a tu isla, me siento extraño, ¿sabes?
entro a buscar más y más, ¿sabes?
pero tú con tus calumnias,
me niegas tu sonrisa,
me siento mal, agallao,
yo soy tu hijo,
de una migración,
pecado forzado,
me mandaste a nacer nativo en otras tierras,
por qué, porque éramos pobres, ¿verdad?
porque tu querías vaciarte de tu gente pobre,
ahora regreso, con un corazón boricua, y tú,
me desprecias, me miras mal, me atacas mi hablar,
mientras comes mcdonalds en discotecas americanas,
y no pude bailar la salsa en san juan, la que yo
bailo en mis barrios llenos de todas tus costumbres,
así que, si tú no me quieres, pues yo tengo
un puerto rico sabrosísimo en qué buscar refugio
en nueva york, y en muchos otros callejones
que honran tu presencia, preservando todos
tus valores, así que, por favor, no me
hagas sufrir, ¿sabes?


I WILL TRY TO POST THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THIS... Its powerful!

The Puerto Rican Diaspora

http://www.enciclopediapr.org/ing/section_mm_video.cfm?cat=40

If you follow this link you can find some great footage and interviews of some PR migrants. This was the concept I had in mind for my class presentation project including the interviews and all. Its seems too big a task for me at this time with the babies, but I figure why reinvent the wheel, I'll just add the link...(until I am able to produce a documentary of my own.) The stories in the videos are very familiar, I'm sure you will be able to relate in some way...

Here

Here
Sandra Maria Esteves

I am two parts/a person
boricua/spic
past and present
alive and oppressed
given a cultural beauty
. . . and robbed of a cultural identity

I speak the alien tongue
in sweet boriqueno thoughts
know love mixed with pain
have tasted spit on ghetto stairways
. . . here, it must be changed
we must change it

I may never overcome
the theft of my isla heritage
dulce palmas de coco on Luquillo
sway in windy recesses I can only imagine
and remember how it was

But that reality now a dream
teaches me to see, and will
bring me back to me.

From Yerba Buena, GreenÞeld, NY: GreenÞeld Review Press, 1981. Used by permission. All rights reserved.